Welp...herpes.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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