Me. At least after what I've been through.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
