didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
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