I have demons in me.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
