at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
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