i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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