Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
