he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
