I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
