its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
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