he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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