I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
