Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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