You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
