Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I look better un-naked...
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
