is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
