their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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