I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
So squirting runs in the family.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
