My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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