I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
