no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
