I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
