I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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