can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
