i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
