Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
