I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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