u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
