office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
