How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
