You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Randomize
