It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
