yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
