im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Dick very happy bro
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
