I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
