Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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