He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
