my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
