She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
