i just google imaged poop.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
