I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
