We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
