do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
