So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
