So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
