HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
