I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize