If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
