I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
