She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
